1. The Control Freak
Many
women have had their lives turned upside down by a control freak. He
has an overwhelming desire to control every detail, even when it’s out
of his hands—be it the weather, traffic or your life. True, women like a
guy that is manly, but manly isn’t the same as domineering. Before you
know it, you soon start to lose your identity and become a creation of
his. That isn’t love; it’s a dysfunction and you need to believe it.
2. The Abuser
A
control freak will almost always become an abuser, but not all abusers
start out as control freaks. In fact, abusers are usually nice guys
until their anger kicks in. How many times have we heard an abused woman
say, “He’s not like that o. It’s only when he’s angry that he lashes
out”? If a guy belittles you, tells you you’re worthless, or insults
you, that is abuse. If he forces you to do things you’re not comfortable
with, that’s abuse. It may initially look like a temper issue, but
physical abuse soon follows, and no woman deserves that. Do not date an
abusive man—no matter how alternately nice he is.
3. The Man-child
He
doesn’t have to be younger that you are as many women assume that men
younger than them are automatically immature. He could be much older but
his brain is stuck in adolescence, thinking like a 13-year-old and
always craving your validation. Being in a relationship with this man
will always leave you drained, because it’s feels like you’re raising a
child.
4. The Ghost.
You
see him only when he wants to be seen. One minute he’s doting on you
and everything’s peach; the next, poof! He vanishes and you can’t reach
him by phone, text, BBM, mail, tweet— nothing! He’s not dead; he simply
does not want to be reached. This is 2012—there’s a way to stay in touch
if you want to. Forget his elaborate explanation when he does reappear,
all na wash. He definitely has another life that he doesn’t want you to
be part of.
5. The Unambitious.
If
a guy cannot say what his goal in life is, strike his name off the
list. Waiting for his grandfather’s will is not an ambition, neither is
playing the visa lottery every year. The country is hard, but that
doesn’t mean we cannot have workable dreams, no matter how nascent.
6. Mr Chop my money.
All
he has is money. Not character, finesse, values or even an education.
Just money. Unfortunately as women very well know, money isn’t
everything; this guy can buy you fine things but he can’t treat you with
sensitivity. Being with him will cause you to live a life of quiet
desperation.
7. The Fairy-tale prince.
Everything
you ever prayed for, even things thatyou know yourself are unrealistic;
this guy has it all. He’s handsome caring, attentive, charming, well
dressed, tasteful, generous—in short, he’s flawless. You feel he’s too
good to be true and he probably is. All men have flaws, but this man
doesn’t have any? It’s all an act. Once he’s had his fill of you, the
charade stops and you see his true self. To him it’s a game and he
enjoys the thrill of the chase, the delightful deceit and the abrupt
end. Nobody said men were emotional creatures but some do and relish the
chance to practise their adroitness.
8. The Guy who just doesn’t want you.
There
are guys whom you like and no matter how you try, they simply don’t
want YOU. They could be taken, gay or blind. Rejection hurts, but it’s
part of life. Move on. While you still have your dignity, in God’s name,
move on.
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