Beyonce has opened up about her heartbreaking miscarriage for the first time,
The 31-year-old, who is married to rapper Jay-Z, addresses the tragedy in her upcoming HBO documentary, Life Is But a Dream.
She suffered the loss several years before the birth of her daughter Blue Ivy in January 2012.
'About two years ago, I was pregnant for the first time,' she says in a preview.
'And I heard the heartbeat, which was the most beautiful music I ever heard in my life.'
'I picked out names,' she recalls.
'I envisioned what my child would look like.. I was feeling very maternal.'
She lost the child in the early stages of her pregnancy.
'I flew back to New York to get my check up - and no heartbeat,' she says.
'Literally the week before I went to the doctor, everything was fine, but there was no heartbeat.'
The star, who married Jay-Z in April 2008, turned to music to help her get through her pain.
Opening up: The singer spoke about her loss in
her upcoming HBO documentary Life Is But a Dream
Behind the scenes: The star allowed cameras to
film her away from the spotlight
'I went into the studio and wrote the saddest song I've ever written in my life,' she says, but doesn't name the track.
'And it was actually the first song I wrote for my album.
'And it was the best form of therapy for me, because it was the saddest thing I've ever been through.'
OUR BABY HEARTACHE AND JOY
Jay-Z
first revealed Beyonce suffered a miscarriage in his track Glory, which
he wrote after the birth of Blue Ivy in January 2012.
The lyrics
included: 'Last time the miscarriage was so tragic/We was afraid you'd
disappear/But nah baby you magic'
Beyonce was thrilled when she discovered she was pregnant again in 2011 and found it hard to keep the news to herself to begin with.
'Being pregnant was very much like falling in love. You are so open. You are so overjoyed.
'There's no words that can express having a baby growing inside of you, so of course you want to scream it out and tell everyone.'
In one scene, she confides: 'I felt the baby kick for the first time. Kicked five times.'
After cautiously keeping the pregnancy a secret, she finally revealed her bump in spectacular fashion at the MTV Video Music Awards in August 2011.
She famously rubbed her tummy during a performance of Love On Top and it went on to become the most-tweeted moments of the year.
She later faced rumours she was wearing a fake bump and using a gestational surrogate.
'A stupid rumour, the most ridiculous rumor I've ever had about me,' she says. 'To think that I would be that vain...'
A reason to
celebrate: Beyonce showing off her bump while pregnant with Blue Ivy
'Overjoyed': A scan of their daughter, who is
now one
After the delivery, she described it as 'the most beautiful experience of my life ... It was amazing ... I felt like God was giving me a chance to assist in a miracle ... You're playing a part in a much bigger show.'
The HBO documentary attempts to show the other, more vulnerable and human side of Beyonce.
In a previous clip, she says: 'People see celebrities and they have money and fame, but I'm a human being.'
'I cry, I get scared, I get nervous just like everyone else.'
She shares tender and very candid moments from her pregnancy with Blue Ivy, showing her bare pregnant belly and even a sonogram of her unborn daughter.
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