Some advicesAre you getting to interact? Are you sure that you always tell what you think? Do people understand what you want to say them? If you're wondering how to communicate effectively, read on.
Follow the conversation. Observation means that we must objectively examine the situation, see what happens. It seems simple? Ease of understanding of the event depends on whether our ability to understand, we love what we see, experience or not. You have to determine as accurately as possible their senses.
Express feelings. Oh no no no, do not convincingly scream, cry or start to use hands gesticulate. I have to disappoint, the differences in thinking can remain misunderstood. Need to learn to understand and figure out how to really feel certain situations, and articulating their feelings. Feelings impression - it's not saying "bad or good for me." Adequately express feelings - the key to self-understanding, being aware of them and showing an opportunity to learn about your condition and react appropriately. Eg.: I feel scared, angry, happy, relaxed, worried, etc. Such words provide a sufficiently precise in its emotion, status.
Understand needs. By observing the situation and being aware of your feelings you can and should feel free to express needs. For example. "Honey, when you listen to loud music, I feel tired, I want to be quieter at home."
Specific applications. When I realized the situation, told their my senses and realized my needs, it remains to ask what you want. For example. "Honey, would you listen to music quietly?"
Where are some important communication rules, that we sometimes ignore:
- Take responsibility for your feelings. Yes, yes ... saying, "You make me mad, you move the responsibility for your condition to someone, but after all you feel. You're not just blame the other person, you avoid responsibility for their feelings. Because then you get nervous. No matter what did others, you may have to react calmly.
- Criticize not a man and his deeds. Have you heard "You're lazy," "You are non-punctually, etc. Although only one time delay to a date, and your inference" life-having a negative character. " Embarrassing? Incorrect? Yes. Therefore, instead of this, say:" The fact that you late, it take a moment and I felt unimportant, please arrive on time more."
- Do not use the abstract concepts of 'always', 'never', 'yes' than 'yes' and so on. Have you seen that kid will always take instructions from their parents? Probably not. Repeated periodically for a certain action, and so drops: "You're always so. Is this true? Using the following sentences, is so annoyed. Therefore - criticize concrete action. Avoid abstract words because they are completely uninformative. Identify what specific (avoid the "debt", "yes" and so on.) You do not like how would that other person would do. For example. "I do not like you're drinking milk drom a package, please, next time drink from cup."
- Do not use the negatives when you want to hear a positive response. Saying: "Not wanting to walk with me?" What we say? Pronounced "unwilling", and after all, probably hoping to hear "I want to be happy? Try to formulate before considering the question, what response do you expect from the interviewer. Play a much more positive: "Want to take a walk with me?" .
- In case of saying, what not to do, tell them what to do. Often say, "Not take that!", "Do not do homework very late at night", and so on. Yes, you say, what a man should not do, but probably expect homework to be done, for example. Before dinner? But you didn't say that. For more information, give sentence: "worried about the quality of your homework, so please, do your homework before dinner."
- The word "understand" not say anything. How often do you hear "I realized" you feel that you really understand? Rather than head nodded to the beat, and repeating "yes, yes, I understood" to listen and try to convey the following message in their own words. For example. "Carolina lessons ended three hours ago." Answers: "I understand, you worry because Carolina does not return from school a long time?" Feel the difference? In the second sentence, we send another state and try to guess your mood really understand what is behind the other person's words. Try to paraphrase - the reproduction of the other senses in their own words. Is now believed that you knew, or at least tried to do this?
- Forget about subjective assessment. Stereotypes, prejudices and so on blonde – stupid, man in pink shirt - a gay ... STOP IT. Evaluation of the most damaging stereotypes. Everyone has the right to have an opinion, attitude, however, "do justice" in its aid to the established way of thinking is not positive law. Try to see the bigger picture and manage their own prejudices.
- Express your feelings in particular. Instead of saying, "I feel bad", refine how you feel and say, for example."I feel worried because you didn’t water flowers”.
- Say your wishes loudly and clearly. You can be silent for a long time and patiently blink, smile or try to force their facial expressions. Nobody can not read your thoughts or read inaccurately. If you want that one day your dreams a reality, say them speak loudly and clearly. For example. "I want you to went home and turn off the music." It is clear and simple.’
- Say compliment. Think what? And that is probably one of the simplest compliments and totally free ways to evaluate human conduct by a character or beauty. Compliments way to thank: "You were very brave to bring my cat from a tree. Thank you. " Praise people feel assess happier and more productive work, good for you. Noting the good work of other characteristics of encouraging them to behave positively.